Easter!

.Today was an amazing day all around. To start things off it was absolutely beautiful outside. I would've stayed outside all day if gvien the oppertunity. When I got to my Uncle's house baby jack instantly recognized me. He got soo big I couldn't believe it. So of course we were best buds the whole day, crawling around and having him beat me up and shoving his toys down my throat. Babies have an extreme liking to me and I don't really understand it. Most of the time I'm affraid to pick them up cause I don't want to hurt them lol. But I've gotten a lot better :). As much as I think I deny wanting to have my own kid I would like to have a lil munchkin looking like me one day.

I was extremely fat today I had Turkey dinner at my Uncles and then dessert. Finally when I came home I had spanish food that my Aunt Colleen made. (Yes who would think an irish woman named colleen can make amazing spanish food) well she definately does. My mom left after our second dinner to go by her new boyfriends house. So now I'm watching the history channel and most likely taking a nap shortly after. I'm obsessed with history. Everything about it captivates me. Most people think I'm nuts when I say this but one of my most favorite role models is Alexander the Great. He was the closest person to taking over the whole world. Just imagine what strength and motivation you have to weild inorder to do that. Not only that but the intellegence of battle strategies. I'm not obsessed with war don't get me wrong. What gets me the most is strategy. Pretty much everything you do in life as at least a moment or two of pre-thought. I'm going to stop rambling on my nerd rampage.

On another note, I have been reading a certain someones blog I admit. Haha. We have so much in common to the point where I think we feel the same exact way towards eachother. She is so mature for her age that it sometimes takes me back. Everything that took me so long to realize she's right there on the same page as me. I have feelings for her that much is clear. I'm just glad I had the chance grow up a bit before I met her. The old me would've been selfish and not think clearly into the situation at hand. I know she's affraid of leading me on. To be honest I'm scared of falling for her too. I'm just happy that the strongest thing I have is keeping me sane. My will is my strongest asset. No matter what the circumstance if I'm determined to keep fighting I will. I fight myself daily to make sure I'm the best friend she ever had and put her needs before my foolish impulses. She needs me as a friend and to me that's on top of my list. She pops into my head occasionally and I admit sometimes its a struggle to keep myself from saying or doing something we both may regret. But the respect I have for her goes way past any other feeling in my body. She's the only person I have in my life right now that I feel comfortable telling anything and everything that pops into my mind. I've been betrayed and decieved so many times and after all that I trust that girl with my life. So ill never do anything to fuck up something so amazing.