Brush Your Shoulders Off

To me it feels like I'm a backwards pimp. I can get any girl I don't want, and yet I repel all the ones I do. The ones I don't want I treat like basically shit or I ignore them. I really don't understand how that works. I don't want to ignore the girls I like, let alone treat them like shit. However, there is one song by Jay-Z (Brush your shoulders off) . I'm sure you've heard of it. If you haven't you have been living in a bubble and you are deprived of life and I suggest you go back to sleep. This particular song makes me feel so bad ass I can't explain it. It's like if I could have that song playing all the time I'd prob be the baddest Kat in N.Y. This prob sounds like one of the top 5 corniest things you've ever heard. Well tough luck, I'm a Nerd get over it. Maybe I should walk around with my ipod and play it right before I go attempt to hit on a girl? I would really like some feed back on that *laughs*. As I look back on my past sometimes I realize I was a completely different kid than I am now. I don't know if it's different experiences that changed me or it's just a part of growing up. The thing I've noticed is I lost my spark. My streak of boldness. I never used to be this way. I'd go right up to anyone, I had no fear of rejection. I was the most popular kid in my grammar school at the age of 10. I sit here sometimes and I'm like "wow... what a pussy." I got to change this and now that I'm currently racking my brains I know what changed me. It was being humiliated in front of my whole high school. Having so called friends sing songs about me and how I felt about the girl of my dreams. I'd like to see that happen to you and you be able to approach girls. This is why I'm paranoid. My whole high school experience I was in the center of attention. To this day I don't know why everyone chose me. For the longest time, I thought I was ugly. Even to this day I still have my doubts. Family and friends tell me it isn't true but their family, that's their job. I'm trying so hard to brush my shoulders off. Man up, don't give a fuck what people think. It's not that easy. You know what? I'm going to be confident and I'm going to ask a girl for her number even if it kills me the next time I go out. I'll make that promise to whoever follows my blog and actually reads all the shit I ramble on and on about. Next time I go out I'll be bold. I won't be a pussy I'll be that same kid I once was a really long time ago. I got this. :]